Kansas

Last week we spent in Kansas visiting relatives. Many of our family had not yet met Joshua, so it was a good chance to show him off.

Who wouldn't want to meet this little guy? He got to meet his Great Grandparents that live in Kansas, and a couple of Great Aunts and Uncles. He is very much loved.

We also visited one of Kansas' Zoo's. I was surprised that it was free to enter. That I think is such an awesome thing. Its not a very large zoo. But for children to be able to come and see and learn about animals for free is awesome.

Josh went swimming for the first time. Kyle and I went down a water slide about a dozen times. When going down on our last trip, I was thinking to myself that I was having fun going down, but would have never gone down by myself. I am thankful that Kyle is still little enough to need me for somethings.

We also visited a farm, Kyle got to ride around on a lawn mower, climb on a tractor. He was in heaven.

One of my favorite things about visiting my husbands family is seeing the wind farms that are going up in Kansas. I like that they don't even remove the old windmills. There are a couple of old ones right next to the new ones. It's amazing to me to see the difference.

We ate out a lot. Some how I managed to gain 5 lbs. I don't really know how this is possible in a week, especially since I am still nursing. But oh well, I guess I will have to work harder to take it off again.

Even though our visit was good, I am happy to be home, and sleeping in our own beds. I still have to unpack, and clean my house. But its good to be home.

Thinking

This year I have been thinking a lot about my life, others lives. Comparing the two. Trying to be more thankful for what I have, and not to think to much on what we don't.

This year is not quite half way over and I have a lot to be thankful for. We have two beautiful healthy boys. We bought our first house. My husband and I are both healthy. Things in general are going pretty well.

I often wonder what our lives would be like if something was different. I think I have come to the conclusion that I don't want anything to be different. We are very lucky. We have so much more than many people.

I have been thinking that I want to try and stay positive. Not let the little things get me down. Focus on the positive. Try and be the person that I want to be. If I think about the negative I forget about the positive. I want it to be the other way around. So if you know me in real life, and hear me saying something negative, please remind me to stay positive.

Not Good Enough

Do you ever feel like you are not good enough. This is how my Mother in law makes me feel alot of the time. It has been on my mind over the past few days, as she is going to be visiting this weekend. She is constantly comparing me to her own daughter. I hate it. It makes me not want to share things with her as I feel I will be judged.

I felt it most while being pregnant with Joshua. Her daughter got pregnant approx. a month after I did. When I would call her up to let her know about something, it seemed like she wasn't really listening about what I was telling her. She would commonly say something like B's doctor is now seeing her every two weeks is your doctor going to do the same. I would reply yes that started a month ago like I told you. B has her c section scheduled for this date, why can't you tell me exactly when your going to have this baby. Won't they induce you, so I can plan things? NO! Babies come when they want to. Its not healthy to induce people for convenience sake. It would drive me crazy. To the point that I just wanted to stop calling her.

It started up again recently. B went back to work this week, so her baby has had to start partly on formula. She then suggests that I should start Joshua on formula, so he will start sleeping through the night. It's better for the baby to be on breast milk. If I have to get up once a night to feed him so be it.

I have probably another dozen examples of her doing this to me. I feel like she is constantly comparing the two of us, and I never live up to B. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can tell her to stop this? Its driving me crazy.

WINDY

Today is Windy Wednesday. We have been having 70 mile and our gusts out here. I always thought that winds were just an annoyance. This morning I had to chase my trash cans a few times down the street. I never really thought that this would happen.

My neighbor calls me up, and asks if I'm home. I say yes. She says look out your back door. This is what I found. Not what I expected. This swing set/ tree fort weighs over 600 lbs. These are some strong winds.

Hope your day is going better than mine.

Doctors Visits

Yesterday Kyle and Joshua both had doctors visits. Nothing was wrong with either, Kyle was due for his yearly physical, and josh needed a 4 month well baby.

Kyle is now 41 lbs 2 oz. 43 1/2 inches tall. That's 91st and 97th percentile respectively. On all other things he is doing great. The doctor isn't concerned with anything. That is what we like to hear.

Josh is 15.5 lbs and 24 inches tall. That's 50th and 25th percentile. Everything else is looking good. The blue legs thing isn't anything to be concerned about. Doctor says that this is a common aliment. Apparently this can happen in adults too. As long as your body is pink and your not blue all the time, things are still OK. Also the doctor thinks that Joshua might be an early crawler. Lately when we put him on his stomach he has his arms under his chest, and is trying to put his knees under his belly. He is also starting to reach out with his hands, and kick out with his legs. He actually showed this to the doctor too. I am pleased with that, because in my experience whenever you tell the doctor something that your kid can do they never seem to be able to do it in the doctors office.

Joshua has also started to laugh out loud. I love that sound so much. Its so funny to see, when he is giggling. I will try and post video later. To me watching Joshua go through these milestones is bitter sweet. I love watching him develop, but it also pulls at my heart that Kris can't be here with us to see it. I am trying to get better about taking video and pictures, so at least he can see them, but its really not the same.

4 Months

Joshua is 4 months old today. I can't believe how fast time has gone by, and how much has happened in the last 4 months. We go for his 4 month appointment tomorrow. I will post all his new stats then.

Sunday I thought that I would try Josh on solids. He has been showing signs that he is ready. He was smiling after. He really didn't have the hang of it and his tongue was pushing it out. Here are a few pictures of the big milestone.

Rainbow of Heroes Walk and Operation Olivia

This is a re post from a friend of mine. Her Daughter Olivia nine months ago went through a cord blood stem cell transplant. I have blogged about her before.If you would like to read more about Olivia and her transplant process click http://www.mikelaurieandolivialeiva.blogspot.com They are walking to help raise money for the transplant unit up at duke. I think it's a great cause.

Original Post:

The Rainbow of Heroes Walk is the annual fundraiser/ reunion for the PBMT program at Duke. On the first Saturday in May,we walk together as a community. Along the way, as we carry balloons with Patients' names on them, people stop, talk together, and enjoy each other. Finally, we release the balloons.

The Rainbow of Heroes Walk commemorates and celebrates all Duke Pediatric Blood and Marrow Transplant (PBMT) patients and their families. Refreshments, music, and activities for everyone are provided.

The Walk is not only the main fundraiser for the Duke PBMT Family Support Program. More than that, it is a reunion for patients, families, nurses, therapists, doctors, volunteers, and supporters who have come to know each other through the months-long transplant process.

We have created Operation Olivia to represent our team during the walk. If you make a contribution to Operation Olivia we will be happy to mail you a special Operation Olivia t-shirt. Please leave a comment with your name, t-shirt size, and address if you would like us to mail you a t-shirt. To make a contribution to Operation Olivia please click here: Donate