Friends

Last night I was reading a friends blog. It brought back many memories. She was blogging about her first born's birth story. She and I were pregnant at the same time. We became friends during this time. We learnt alot about babies together. We did a whole lot of shopping for our nurserys. She even came with me to an ultra sound, since our husbands were deployed.

Even though it has been about 3 years since we have seen eachother, I still think of her as one of my closest friends. I value her friendship.

Ithink of what the army has brought me. Friends. As a army wife you learn to make friends quickly. Some that you leave behind when you move on, but a few handful I believe that I will have for the rest of my life. I am thankful today for all of my friends. I know my life wouldn't be the same without you.

Missing Him

Today I am missing Kris. Yes its because its my Birthday. Also because it the 4th. It reminds me of 10 years ago on me 21st Birthday when I met him. It reminds me of the first 4th that we spent together as a couple, where we climbed out on my mothers roof and watched the fireworks.

I wish he was here with me now. I miss him so much. I haven't been able to talk to him lately, as they are in the process of moving, and don't have Internet set up yet.

I miss you honey. Come home soon.

So I visited the lactation consultant today. I normally steer clear of these people. I find that the lactation consultants are normally really weird and kind of weird me out. Today wasn't so. I got to weigh Josh then feed him, and then weigh him again. They do this so they can see how much he is in taking. Apparently I am still making enough milk. This is pretty reassuring. I also bought a mothers milk tea, and some fenugreek supplements. I hope they bring my amount back up to when it was. I would feel alot better then.

Thanks girls for the advice and support.

Nursing

I have been doing pretty well at nursing Josh, up until these past few days. I am starting to be worried about my milk supply. I am not sure that I am making enough anymore. I am getting depressed think that this could be the end of nursing. Does anyone have any good tips for me on how I can increase my supply?

Doctor Visit

As promised here is your doctor update.

Josh weighs in at 15lbs 13oz. That is in the 25th percentile. He has dropped from his curve. We are going in to check his weight again in two months. Doctor isn't too concerned since he still looks good, and everything else is moving along just fine.

He measures 26.5 inches long. This is the 50th percentile. This is a bit of a jump, he was at the 25th percentile last time. So I guess he has been focusing on growing long instead of packing on the pounds.

Josh got three shots today, and one oral vaccine. He seems to be taking them pretty well. He just always seems sleepy for the rest of the day.

I also got a shot today. I was due (over due) for my tetanus booster. So I got that. It is now lumped together with diphtheria and pertussis. It will be nice to know that I won't be passing these onto my kids.

Today

Today I was a busy little beaver. I cleaned my kitchen. Babysat for a friend. Installed four outside lights. Removed and re grouted my shower. Made a trip to target. I'm sure I will sleep well tonight.

This week I have also changed all my outside locks. Re keyed them, so one key fits all three locks. Changed out some of the inside door handles and hinges. Mowed the lawn. Installed a couple of flip outs on my kitchen cabinets.

Isn't home ownership great. I wonder if I will ever stop coming up with new projects.

On my list of things to do is continue to change out door handles. I am changing all of them out from shiny brass, to brushed nickel. Paint. Hanging more pictures on the walls. I would really like to put in a tile back splash. Shop for more furniture. I have empty rooms. And who knows what else. So if you are ever feeling bored feel free to come on over, and I'll put you to work.

6 Months

Joshua is 6 months old. I can't believe how time has flown by. He goes to the doctor on Thursday. I will give you all on the stats then. This 6 month mark is bitter sweet for me. Kris left when Josh was 3 months old. That means everyday that goes by is one more day that he is missing out on his life. He has now missed half of it. We are now upside down on days that he was around for. On the other hand, its one day closer to him coming home.

Hope your weekend was filled with fun things. More to come later this week.

T Ball

Today Kyle Started T Ball. He loved it. Much better than Soccer last Fall. This time, he participated in drills, listened to his coach. Didn't throw one tantrum. I am so proud of him.


Kyle running with his team mates during their warm up. He is the one with a cap on.

Before the game.

After the game. One happy little boy. He didn't want to go home afterwards.

Kansas

Last week we spent in Kansas visiting relatives. Many of our family had not yet met Joshua, so it was a good chance to show him off.

Who wouldn't want to meet this little guy? He got to meet his Great Grandparents that live in Kansas, and a couple of Great Aunts and Uncles. He is very much loved.

We also visited one of Kansas' Zoo's. I was surprised that it was free to enter. That I think is such an awesome thing. Its not a very large zoo. But for children to be able to come and see and learn about animals for free is awesome.

Josh went swimming for the first time. Kyle and I went down a water slide about a dozen times. When going down on our last trip, I was thinking to myself that I was having fun going down, but would have never gone down by myself. I am thankful that Kyle is still little enough to need me for somethings.

We also visited a farm, Kyle got to ride around on a lawn mower, climb on a tractor. He was in heaven.

One of my favorite things about visiting my husbands family is seeing the wind farms that are going up in Kansas. I like that they don't even remove the old windmills. There are a couple of old ones right next to the new ones. It's amazing to me to see the difference.

We ate out a lot. Some how I managed to gain 5 lbs. I don't really know how this is possible in a week, especially since I am still nursing. But oh well, I guess I will have to work harder to take it off again.

Even though our visit was good, I am happy to be home, and sleeping in our own beds. I still have to unpack, and clean my house. But its good to be home.

Thinking

This year I have been thinking a lot about my life, others lives. Comparing the two. Trying to be more thankful for what I have, and not to think to much on what we don't.

This year is not quite half way over and I have a lot to be thankful for. We have two beautiful healthy boys. We bought our first house. My husband and I are both healthy. Things in general are going pretty well.

I often wonder what our lives would be like if something was different. I think I have come to the conclusion that I don't want anything to be different. We are very lucky. We have so much more than many people.

I have been thinking that I want to try and stay positive. Not let the little things get me down. Focus on the positive. Try and be the person that I want to be. If I think about the negative I forget about the positive. I want it to be the other way around. So if you know me in real life, and hear me saying something negative, please remind me to stay positive.

Not Good Enough

Do you ever feel like you are not good enough. This is how my Mother in law makes me feel alot of the time. It has been on my mind over the past few days, as she is going to be visiting this weekend. She is constantly comparing me to her own daughter. I hate it. It makes me not want to share things with her as I feel I will be judged.

I felt it most while being pregnant with Joshua. Her daughter got pregnant approx. a month after I did. When I would call her up to let her know about something, it seemed like she wasn't really listening about what I was telling her. She would commonly say something like B's doctor is now seeing her every two weeks is your doctor going to do the same. I would reply yes that started a month ago like I told you. B has her c section scheduled for this date, why can't you tell me exactly when your going to have this baby. Won't they induce you, so I can plan things? NO! Babies come when they want to. Its not healthy to induce people for convenience sake. It would drive me crazy. To the point that I just wanted to stop calling her.

It started up again recently. B went back to work this week, so her baby has had to start partly on formula. She then suggests that I should start Joshua on formula, so he will start sleeping through the night. It's better for the baby to be on breast milk. If I have to get up once a night to feed him so be it.

I have probably another dozen examples of her doing this to me. I feel like she is constantly comparing the two of us, and I never live up to B. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can tell her to stop this? Its driving me crazy.

WINDY

Today is Windy Wednesday. We have been having 70 mile and our gusts out here. I always thought that winds were just an annoyance. This morning I had to chase my trash cans a few times down the street. I never really thought that this would happen.

My neighbor calls me up, and asks if I'm home. I say yes. She says look out your back door. This is what I found. Not what I expected. This swing set/ tree fort weighs over 600 lbs. These are some strong winds.

Hope your day is going better than mine.

Doctors Visits

Yesterday Kyle and Joshua both had doctors visits. Nothing was wrong with either, Kyle was due for his yearly physical, and josh needed a 4 month well baby.

Kyle is now 41 lbs 2 oz. 43 1/2 inches tall. That's 91st and 97th percentile respectively. On all other things he is doing great. The doctor isn't concerned with anything. That is what we like to hear.

Josh is 15.5 lbs and 24 inches tall. That's 50th and 25th percentile. Everything else is looking good. The blue legs thing isn't anything to be concerned about. Doctor says that this is a common aliment. Apparently this can happen in adults too. As long as your body is pink and your not blue all the time, things are still OK. Also the doctor thinks that Joshua might be an early crawler. Lately when we put him on his stomach he has his arms under his chest, and is trying to put his knees under his belly. He is also starting to reach out with his hands, and kick out with his legs. He actually showed this to the doctor too. I am pleased with that, because in my experience whenever you tell the doctor something that your kid can do they never seem to be able to do it in the doctors office.

Joshua has also started to laugh out loud. I love that sound so much. Its so funny to see, when he is giggling. I will try and post video later. To me watching Joshua go through these milestones is bitter sweet. I love watching him develop, but it also pulls at my heart that Kris can't be here with us to see it. I am trying to get better about taking video and pictures, so at least he can see them, but its really not the same.

4 Months

Joshua is 4 months old today. I can't believe how fast time has gone by, and how much has happened in the last 4 months. We go for his 4 month appointment tomorrow. I will post all his new stats then.

Sunday I thought that I would try Josh on solids. He has been showing signs that he is ready. He was smiling after. He really didn't have the hang of it and his tongue was pushing it out. Here are a few pictures of the big milestone.

Rainbow of Heroes Walk and Operation Olivia

This is a re post from a friend of mine. Her Daughter Olivia nine months ago went through a cord blood stem cell transplant. I have blogged about her before.If you would like to read more about Olivia and her transplant process click http://www.mikelaurieandolivialeiva.blogspot.com They are walking to help raise money for the transplant unit up at duke. I think it's a great cause.

Original Post:

The Rainbow of Heroes Walk is the annual fundraiser/ reunion for the PBMT program at Duke. On the first Saturday in May,we walk together as a community. Along the way, as we carry balloons with Patients' names on them, people stop, talk together, and enjoy each other. Finally, we release the balloons.

The Rainbow of Heroes Walk commemorates and celebrates all Duke Pediatric Blood and Marrow Transplant (PBMT) patients and their families. Refreshments, music, and activities for everyone are provided.

The Walk is not only the main fundraiser for the Duke PBMT Family Support Program. More than that, it is a reunion for patients, families, nurses, therapists, doctors, volunteers, and supporters who have come to know each other through the months-long transplant process.

We have created Operation Olivia to represent our team during the walk. If you make a contribution to Operation Olivia we will be happy to mail you a special Operation Olivia t-shirt. Please leave a comment with your name, t-shirt size, and address if you would like us to mail you a t-shirt. To make a contribution to Operation Olivia please click here: Donate

Randoms

I have a lot to post about. First off I have heard from Kris, he is doing OK. I can't tell you to much of what he is doing because of OPSEC. I do have a mailing address for him, if you would like it let me know and I will email it out to you.

Kris and I have chatted a few times on facebook and every time I hear from him it, makes my day. We usually get to chat for approx 30 mins, and he likes to hear stories about the boys. One of his favorites were on morning before my trip to my mum's house, I had out one of those c shaped travel pillows. Kyle put it around his waist and asked to hold Baby Josh. He was imitating me using the bobby pillow. I thought it was so sweet. Kyle is turning out to be such a good big brother.

We spent the last two weeks at my Mum's house. We had a great Easter, I will post more on this later.

Joshua is getting big. He really likes to be upright. He likes to lapstand. My only issue with this is that his little legs are turning blue when he does this. Has anyone else experienced this? Should I really concerned? I am going to mention this at next weeks well baby visits. Joshua is going in for his 4 month appt. Kyle is going in for his 4 year appt. Wow how time is flying by.

Thanks everyone for being so supportive. I have needed it. Your words cheer me up.

Thats all I have for now I am working on a few posts for this week so check back.

So Hard.

So I am missing Kris pretty bad. I haven't heard from him since he landed in Kuwait. Its hard when I am hearing from some of my friends that they are hearing from their husbands everyday. I know they are excited to hear from them and want to share the news, but sometimes I wish that they would keep it to themselves. I want to hear from him so badly, when they tell me that they have been hearing from their husbands and then ask if I have heard from Kris, it hurts when I have to say no. I have one friend that keeps on pestering me on why I think he hasn't called. I want to just burst out in tears. I wish she would just drop it. How do let her know that I just don't want to talk about it?

Also since I am the FRG (family readiness group) leader, I have been fielding the calls from other wives that they haven't heard from their husbands. What do they really think that I can do about it? Do people think that I can just call up my own husband and get theirs to call them? I am in the same exact boat as they are. If truth be told my husband probably has less down time then theirs.

Sorry for my rant. I just need to get that off of my chest. Let me know if you have any suggestions on how I can deal with the other wives. I know that a couple of you have been in my position before.

Laundry

This morning while stripping the sheets off of my bed I debated on whether I would wash his pillow cases. Is that kind of Gross? In the end I did strip them, as somehow in the middle of the night my husband seems to scrunch up the pillow slip. so half of the pillow is sticking out. I have no idea how he does this, but every night he does.
So tonight I will sleep on clean sheets, without the smell of my husband. And so the year of being lonely begins.

So Sweet

So I am going to post a few catch up posts since I have been slacking for the past few months.

When my mother was staying with us over Christmas/ the birth of Joshua. Kyle went into my Mothers room, and climbed into bed with her. Usually we would discourage this behavior, but he didn't do it to spend the night with her, he brought he a flashlight. He showed her how to use it. And told her it was for if she got scared. I thought this was so sweet.

Again

So Kris has deployed again. This is his 4th deployment to Iraq. I think I am handling it OK. I guess I have to now that I have two children to take care of. Saying good bye was hard. When Kyle told his daddy that he loved him it broke my heart that Kris was leaving us. Over the past year Kris and Kyle have gotten pretty close.

I made Kyle a daddy doll (action figure that's what Kris wants me to call it). He has been carrying it around. Last night we went to go pick you dinner Kyle had to bring his "my daddy" along with him. When we were leaving the house he said that my daddy was cold so he put him up his shirt. He took my daddy to bed with him last night also. Its really sad to think about this. Kyle made me kiss my daddy this morning, and is now downstairs playing with my daddy in the basement.

I am going to ask you all again to please pray for Kris' safety. For my sanity, and for the year to go by quickly. Thanks.

Bad Bad Blogger

So this year I have been a very bad bad blogger. Sorry. I hope you all can forgive me. Lately I have been pretty busy. Not just running around after Kyle, and being a new mother again looking after Joshua. I have been sleep deprived. I have been house hunting. House buying. Appliance shopping. Furniture shopping. And FRGing.

Yes you read that this year we decided to buy a house. I called a realtor teed up some times to look at houses, and fell in love with the 4th house that I looked at. A week later we made an offer, and it was accepted. We were concerned, as another buyer put in a offer before we got ours in. Can you believe that? In this market two offers on the same house in the same week.

Well I guess ours was a better offer, and we won. We close on our house this week. I am very excited, this will be Kris' and my first home that we own. So since this new house does not come with a refrigerator, I had to go buy one. I never really paid much attention to prices on fridges, buy they are expensive, but we can live without one.

Also since our house that we are buying is bigger than where we currently live, we will be needing new furniture. First on the list is Kyle's room. His new room is smaller than his current room, so we have decided to downsize his furniture. We went bunk bed shopping this weekend. I haven't ordered it yet, but I think I have selected one. His current furniture will be going into our guest room. What a novel idea, having a guest room. This will be our first guest room since we had Kyle in 2006.

Next on the list of things to shop for will be more living room furniture, computer desks, and maybe a new TV and hot tub. Lots of things coming up. I will post pictures of the new house soon. I just want you all to know that I am very excited, and I am very sorry for being a bad blogger.

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